I Need An Art Studio

Diagram #1It has become abundantly apparent to me that I need an art studio, or to move out.  My current room is just not cutting it. Everything that I own is crammed into the smallest room of the house I live in (Please refer to Diagram 1). I also don’t have heat; my parents love me I swear.

This teeny tiny space, where everything is shoved into, is also where I paint. I paint on my bed, since there is no other place to sit in my room any longer. This may be hard to imagine, but painting on a bed is not easy nor is it convenient. And there have been many a paint to sheet casualties.

I used to paint in the living room. That stopped due to severe annoyance. Literally every single time I would paint there my mom or dad would come down and yell and nag at me about getting paint on the carpet or couch, despite the fact that I never ever had done so. Except that one time, when I put a painting outside in the garage where no one ever goes. So naturally my mom went out there, stepped in red paint and tracked it onto the carpet. I have never feared for my life more. I dumped so much water on this one spot of the carpet by my closet and so my mom wouldn’t get wise to what I was doing I took my entire closet apart to cover the spot I was frantically cleaning. 

Now that I think about it, I am a messy painter and always end up with paint on some obscure part of my body. Ear, lip, upper thigh underneath my painting leggings, elbow, behind my knee, you name it. But it is only ever my body… or my sheets… actually I’ve gotten it on my carpet, and well… Okay, maybe they have a point. Whatever, back to the point of this post and away from the vindication of my parents and their “rules”.

With the conclusion of my March show, I have several possibilities that are all in the works. And I really want to keep on top of this “art thang”. Argo, it doesn’t make much sense to drive 30 minutes carting all my stuff up to my Grandma’s house tomorrow only to need it all the day after tomorrow (tee hee). Which begs the question, where do I store it until then?

The answer, naturally, is in my already packed room:






And the living room behind the couch.

This place scares me in particular because my mom has a tendency to strongly hate mess in the house and in a cleaning frenzy damaged one of my paintings that I was storing in the basement.

Thus the argument I presented in the start is supported. I need an art studio, or to move out. Alas, neither will happen anytime soon. I do not have the means to afford either. Moving out could happen should I have a roommate, but at the moment I am roommate-less. Janna! Oh why can we not be back at Rutgers in our apartment? How I miss turning my head slightly to converse with another being.

Instead, I will keep fighting the good fight, and finding more places in my room to carefully jam paintings into.

Better yet, anyone want to buy anything from me?



Reflection On My First Art Show

Today, I wrapped up my first official art show at Jamian’s in Red Bank. It was a sad day. It took about 6 minutes to take my art down and another 9 to get my art out to my car and get my money. It felt like Megan and I were hanging it up only last week, and yet it was a complete month later.

I sold one painting, the infamous Mother. Although I am very pleased with the person I sold it to, I am sad to see it go. It was an important piece for me, emotionally and creatively charged. It was also featured in a short film named Wreakage that I worked on with my crew, Paul Christian, Matthew Gustavsen, Pat Perrotto and Matt Siciliano. (Pat got some awesome footage of the painting which I hope to get up here). Between the film and emotional ties, it’s difficult to let Mother go.

Yet it is also extremely poetic. This painting was a coping mechanism for me to deal with the heartbreak of losing the person I believed I was going to marry. I really thought Bryan and I would be together forever. He was my first ever boyfriend, which in and of itself says a lot about what I felt for him. I’m picky as hell with who I date and thus far, he is the only person to make it past dating to boyfriend-dom. Despite how much I wanted it to work, ultimately Bryan did not feel the same way and cut all communication with me after going over to the Philippines.

Needless to say, dealing with this was tough. Combine that with the fight with my mom and Mother was born in early January.

The heartache lingered until the very last week of February. I was tired of being sad and hurt. It was too much. I couldn’t handle it anymore. I don’t know if you would call it praying, or just asking the universe for help, but I remember crying, asking the universe for something, anything, to help me move past this, to give me a sign that things would be okay.

The universe answered.

Photo Courtesy of Gina AsprocolasSunday, February 28th, I got a call saying I was on for the March show. I hung my artwork up Wednesday and had the best night ever at my art opening Thursday, and Saturday I officially sold Mother. At that moment, it could not be clearer to me what the universe was saying, that it was time to let it go. The universe was offering me something I needed and I was taking it. I let it go.

Reflecting on the conclusion of the show and the fact that Mother is the one piece that I sold, I do feel good. This is one painting that I can truly say a piece of my heart and my soul went into it. I hope the home that it finds is a good one. I believe it will be. It is also thanks to the person who I sold Mother to that I may have my next show falling into pieces today. So if you happen to be reading that, THANK YOU!

All of this together, I can’t help but believe that sometimes things really do happen for a reason. You just have to be open to it and seize the opportunities that are presented to you. And last, but not least, a HUGE thank you to everyone who came out to the show and supported me over the month. This was really important to me and sharing it with such awesome people made it all the better.


Calling in Old Debts

"Neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loseth both itself and friend. And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry." - William Shakespeare

This is a quote I like to use a lot, perchance, my favorite quote. Although, up until 2 minutes ago I thought the quote was actually "neither a lender nor a debtor be" and I was crediting it to Benjamin Franklin. That is, until I googled it to make sure I didn't sound like an idiot and that was I quoting it correctly. I wasn't. I also learned that among Benjamin Franklin's faults (inventing daylight savings), he is also a quote thief. For shame Benjamin!

April is the month I am calling in my debts to other people for them. I have no desire to lose friends or dull my husbandry. 

These are my 5 debts: 

1. Charlie Kelly painting for Ginacrat (Wild card bitches!)

2. Flower painting for my cousin Jennifer (almost the year anniversary of the request, whoops, sorry Jennifer. I love you!)

3. Thank you painting to my current sole repeat customer Christian (just in time for him to move out of his colorless dorm)

4. Pokemon for a first time customer and friend Capital M of Gaming Chronicles

5. Striped Bass for Patrick Perrotto (debt being called in pending inspiration)

<-- This is debt #1 for those who couldn't immediately recognize this as the best character ever on It's Always Sunny in Philadelphia. Although I think between the stallion shirt, the silver spray paint, and the long johns, it is unmistakably Charlie Kelly. If you don't know why he is standing in front of an Uno Wild Card, well shame on you! Go watch some TV. 

So that is the goal of April. If I can complete this, that gets me about 1 painting a week, which would be fantastic. I too easliy get off track, and after this past weekend of meeting Jonathan Coulton which was so awesome, I want to do something in the vein of his thing a week, but instead, Julie Dennebaum's painting a week. And much like Jonathan, I have 4 ideas which should last me about 4 weeks. Then I am screwed with 48 weeks and 48 paintings left. Not sure if this is possible, so I'm not really all out committing to this yet. Although if it makes me as awesome as this, it just might be worth it.




Update: It is done.


Thanks to everyone for their feedback - via the internet and in person. The consensus seems to be that the painting is done. And I agree. 

I was having one of weekends where I was feeling down and forgot how I awesome I was. I blame this mostly on Megan not being around. How will I survive when she goes to Russia for 2 year?

Thankfully, I snapped out of it today.

I had a fantastic day at work (weird right?).

I had my personal trainer kick my ass again.

I get to where my new dress that is is basically what I would wear while baking a pie for a pie contest at a church picnic (love it!).

I am about to go get sushi with Pat.

Someone told me that, and I quote, "you can be the greatest woman in the world honestly, you are really smart, funny, friendly, and to mention pretty" (thanks again!).

So essentially my day was awesome and so am I.

Thus time to look at my painting. And looking at it, I agree. It is done. 

So I proudly present to you, my dear reader...


The title was on a document I scanned the other day. I thought it was awesome.

And that is my conclusion of my opposite of self-effacing post. Until next time!


Is this painting done?

I woke up this morning at 8 am cause I had gone to bed at, like, 11 pm on a Friday night. Can you say lame? Essentially, I was plagued with one of those "nobody likes me, everybody hates me, guess I'll go eat worms mood" cause I'm a spaz and over-analyze everything. EVERYTHING. Why do I have my brain?

Anyway, in a fit of spazzy-ness, I decided that this painting sucked ass ----->

It's not that it's terrible, just that I did this originally on 6 12 x 12 inches tiles and I wanted it to be on one canvas. So I thought, hey, I'll just do it just as awesomely again.

I was failing.

The center is just too blah and I didn't know how to fix it. So I decided to just scrap it and start over.

I tried changing it in the way of "Acquiesce to Eternity" and it was just not going well. I was outside listening to my current favorite playlist, enjoying the beautiful weather and making a horrible, horrible painting mistake. I was destroying an expensive canvas. F!

Then I decide, just go the way of "Mother". People like that one a lot and it felt good to finger paint.

So this is what has come out of my painting today:

My question to you is: is this painting done?

Generally my rule of thumb is if I can't tell, it probably isn't. But sometimes I just need to have it around for a while and marinate on it, to really decide. So if anyone has any thoughts, good or bad, let me know. I'd love some help other than my brother with his ridiculous painting names (Close up of Fish Scales #12 - to imply there has been 11 others) or my sister who just puts paint on my face because she was pissed that I put it on her arm? Phst.