A Bridal Gift for Brooke and Jon

Recently, at work I was sitting at my desk doing awesome insurance-like things when my boss came over. I figured it was something to do with the recent "SME" work I've been doing (that's Subject Matter Expert to you. Booyah!) I was on the phone at the moment discussing something very important with my favorite collegue Kevin from Dallas. I politely told him to hold for one moment and lowered the phone to see what Fern wanted. She told me I could finish the conversation and then give her a ring. When I called her I was delightfully surprised to be invited into her office as she wanted to discuss something not work-related - a painting from me for her daughter Brooke's Bridal Shower.

Now one of the cool things about Fern is not only does she know who Romero Britto is, but she OWNS a Romero Britto. Seriously, like a real one. When I was asked to photograph Brooke and her fiancee's engagement party back in August, I got to see it. To say the least, it was beautiful and I am totally lime green Jell-o. One day. One day I will own one too. Who knows, maybe I'll get to meet him and we could trade paintings!

Anyway, back on track, Fern wanted a Romero Britto inspired painting as the gift from the bridal party to the bride. I instantly accepted and got to work finding the Romero Britto piece to use as inspiration. A little bit of googling later I found the piece and I got my sketch.

Once I had the sketch it was time to start with the painting. I have learned from all the other myriads of Britto paintings that the key is, start with the people and work your way out.

What I forgot was that I tend to HATE the paintings until I get the black lining in. Last week on Saturday, I had a mini-melt down about how terrible it was coming out and how Fern wouldn't like it. From there, the painting just turned more and more stressful. I wasn't liking the colors of the background - where the aqua was I had breght green and the whole top was dark blue. The heart looked incomplete and I didn't know how to fill in all of the background - I didn't have the wings added yet so there was a lot of dead space in the background. The painting was just turning into a stress mess. Not only was I doing this for my boss, but she is a fellow Romero Britto aficionado and I was cutting it close to the deadline. Not good at all.

I didn't make the progress I needed last weekend. That meant the entire next week, I needed to spend literally EVERY moment not at work painting. Working out? Don't think so. Going to dinner at Oliver Garden with Ryan? Not so much. Game night with Matt Siciliano? Nope. On top of the non-progress I made, I didn't even know how to proceed and now I was getting stress headaches.

Then Monday, I had a breakthrough. I remembered another Romero Britto design I liked that was on the bag I got when I bought something at Britto Central in Miami. I hopped on google again and typed in "Romero Britto hearts". I found the following image and the rest of the painting materialized in my head:

From there I spent Tuesday, Wednesday and Thursday holed up in my room marathoning season 1 of Friday Night Lights as Ryan sat next to me and kept me company. Friday I brought it in to Fern. I couldn't have been more excited. Giving the painting to the client is always my favorite part. It is the payoff for all the hard work I put into it. First, I've never had a client who hasn't loved the end result, and second, I get money.

This painting has definitely made it to my favorite painting list. I think it is a perfect representation of happiness, love and the vibrancy of life. It's so amazing to be able to do something that I love and that brings light into and becomes part of someone else's life forever.

Best wishes to Brooke and Jon <3

Painting for Nick of Time Silent Auction

On Saturday January 29, 2011, at 7pm at the Asbury Lanes, a group of wonderful ladies and I are working with our friend Nick Villapiano and tons of other awesome musicians, artists, local businesses, friends and family, to put together a benefit for Nick and his treatment of MS. He was recently diagnosed with A Typical MS and like so many Americans and young people, doesn't have health insurance. This is where everyone came in. The event should be amazing. We have great bands playing: The Jack Moves, The Amboys, Only Living Boy, Atlantic, Atlantic, and The Gay Blades.

We have tons of awesome gift baskets being auctioned off as well. One of the baskets we are doing is a "Nick Basket". It's going to be filled with all things Nick. He's a huge fan of the Yankees so I offered to do a painting of the Yankee logo for the basket and I couldn't be happier with how it came out. After finishing this one, I definitely feel that compared to this time last year, I have significantly improved in my paintings skills. I also have a commission job to do one of the Mets logo.

This event has really been a wonderful thing to be involved in. Not only am I glad to help Nick, but it has shown me a wonderful side of human kind. The generosity of the community we live in has been uplifting and hope inspiring. From Red Bank, to Asbury, to Bradley Beach to the musical community to the art community to all the way in California and New York. People have opened their hearts and it's a wonderful thing to witness. Hope to see everyone there!

Details:

January 29, 2011 at the Asbury Lanes in Asbury Park

7PM Doors

$10 cover, $10 for unlimited bowling

Facebook event

Christmas paintings for cute kids & learning I can paint fish well

My niece AmburMy nephew Blaize

 

Recently, my sister Marlyn commissioned me to do 8 paintings for all her nieces and nephews as Christmas presents. Two of them, just happened to also be my niece and nephew and are probably two of the flippin' cutest kids ever. It was a lot of fun and gave me a chance to try painting several different things. 

We also went down to visit our father in Florida. He's real big into fishing and I painted a couple fish on his wall as part of a mural. I found that I kind of dig painting fish. Who knew?

 

An Oldie but a Goodie

The Care of Tomorrow, 2010

Sea of Green, 2005

This is one of my very first acrylic paintings ever. I did this back in college, right when I was starting my foray into acrylic. I painted this on 6 canvas boards, measuring 1 foot by 1 foot. For about 4 years it sat under my bed. Eventually I decided to frame it, but it still sat under my bed. Then April came along and I had an art show at Atlantic Artisans, in Atlantic Highlands. I decided to give it a shot, and brought this painting along. 

To my great pleasure, the owner of Atlantic Artisans loved it. She said it was one of her favorite of my pieces. She asked me the paintings name and the price. I had no idea of either, and named it on the spot, Sea of Green (an obvious homage to The Beatles). The painting was displayed beautifully there and I came to love the painting myself.

Unfortunately, nothing sold at my show there and all my pieces returned home with me. I hung them all up nicely in my Grandma's basement and somewhat discouraged and feeling totally uninspired, decided to take the summer off. 

Ultimately this decision was rewarded. About two weeks ago, I sold Sea of Green to a repeat customer, my Aunt Sue. She holds the title of my first ever paying customer, when she bought Scar Tissue. Last December The Tree joined her collection. Now, in addition to this purchase, she commissioned an additional painting The Care of Tomorrow (pictured above) based on Sea of Green painting.  

This makes the current standings of Julie supporting as such:

Tied for 1st with 5 each: Aunt Sue and Ryan 

Tied for 2nd with 3 each: Gina, Christian, my cousin MaryBeth and my Aunt Sarah and Uncle Yuri

And last but not least, tied for 3rd place with 2 each: My Aunt Judi and my cousin Jennifer

For those of you not part of the standings, what are you doing? Buy two of my paintings already!

The Canvas Project is Done

NurseryHatredIsolate

Yes! Just in time for the postmark day of September 1st. My 3 paintings for the Canvas Project are done!

It proved oddly very difficult. Nursery, no problem. But Hatred and Isolate were really tough. I had to ask everyone for their input. Ed gave me the idea for Isolate, and George sweetened it by saying "Is it cause the penguins are on ice?" Then pretty much everyone I asked said Hitler for Hatred. Despite it being obvious, I think Hitler and Nazis just stand the test of time for being the embodiment of hatred.

In the end, I rushed through Isolate and Hatred, only starting them on Friday. I am pleased with the results. This project was just a cool thing to be a part of. And I haven't even gone to the Dec. 3rd gallery show in Brooklyn or received a copy of the book that displays my paintings.

Also, I think I just might participate in this project: The Sketchbook Project

Now I move on to many of my other debted projects and few new paying commissions. 

One Debt Down: Wild Card Bitches!

 "Wild Card, Bitches!" 2010

Back in March, I posted an entry about all the paintings I told people I would do and never did. It was posted March 29 and entitled Calling in Old Debts.

I listed my favorite quote, "neither a borrower nor a lender be; For loan oft loseth both itself and friend. And borrowing dulls the edge of husbandry" by William Shakespeare, vowing to have all debts called in by the end of April. Well, here we are at the end of August, and I have manage to knock 2 off, and accumulate 2 more that I totally forgot about. YES!

At least the one I completed was #1 on the list. I just finished Wild Card, Bitches!, a painting for my lovely friend Gina who, like me, is quite the It's Always Sunny fan, specifically Charlie Kelly, the best character EVER. And as I said in my last posting, if you do not know who Charlie Kelly is, go watch some TV. Immediately. And if you don't get the title, go watch the episode "The Gang Solves the Gas Crisis".

I'm fairly proud of the turn out. The likeness is quite spot on, if I do say so myself. If anyone else out there has any ideas for a similar painting, let me know! The size canvas is 8x8 inches and I charge about $50 for a painting that size.

I also finished my last two paintings for Ryan. One I'm pleased with, a mini Bob Marley painting (below), the otherInception painting I would rather throw in the garbage Inception painting I don't like too much (left). He seems to like both of them so that's all good. If the customer is happy, I am as well.

So with these paintings being done, I am left with less painting debt:

1. Striped Bass for Patrick Perrotto (debt being called in pending inspiration which I think I have finally)

2. Pokemon for a first time customer and friend Capital M of Gaming Chronicles

3. Flower painting for my cousin Jennifer (She may have given me a pass, but this was promised almost a year and a half ago, and she will be getting one)

4. Mermaid painting for my cousin Melissa's daughter Danielle (I was reminded the other week that Danielle remember my promise and that I totally forgot to ever do it. This is to be completed by Christmas)

5. Some type of painting for my cousin Melissa's son Aidan (Also to be completed by Christmas)

I think that is it. Once I complete these paintings, I will be completely caught up on the debted paintings. I'm already in a lot of debt otherwise, I might as well not be in debt painting wise.

"One Love" Mama and baby painting

An Emotional Project

"Eleanor" A portrait of my Grandma by my Great Uncle Alan AlexanderAbout 2 weeks ago my Grandma sent me an email asking me to help out with a project (she's pretty tech savvy and an avid follower of my blog - Hi Grandma! I love you!). She had gone onto Yahoo and on a hunch entered Alan Alexander, my great Uncle and an artist. She found he had a website under construction that was being put together by his son Bryce. Bryce was asking for anyone who had copies of Alan's paintings to take pictures and send them in for the sight.

Naturally, as a follower of my blog, Grandma knew I had just gotten my fancy new camera and was learning how to photograph my artwork. She asked me to help take pictures and I agreed.

Last sunday I took the photos of the pieces she had in her home, and arranged with my Aunt Judi and Aunt Sue to get photos of the other two paintings our family had in their possession.

As I photographed the artwork, it was the first time I really looked at the paintings. How had it escaped me that someone in my family was this talented? How had I not taken the time before? His paintings are beautiful, and he was immensely talented. 

Today, I sat down to crop the photos and send them to Bryce. In typing the email, I found myself becoming very emotional and missing my Grandpa so much. I miss him so much. He was a wonderful grandpa and I loved him with all my heart. I loved his grandpa hat that he wore, how he cursed all the time, how he loved candy, and had a grandpa smell. I miss his laugh too and getting to see him.

I also wish I had been able to know my Great Uncle Alan. I wonder what I could have learned from him and what he might have thought of my artwork? I wish I had appreciated his talent when he was alive so that I might have been able to get his insight on some of his pieces, on where he got his inspiration.

None of this can be changed though, and all I can do is help with collecting photos of Alan's artwork. And as I do this I can watch as his site grows and draw inspiration from his pieces collected together. I can hope that my artwork will be as wide spread one day and I can remember all the wonderful memories I have of my Grandpa, Alan's older brother Al, and find peace and love in that.

Nursery, Hatred & Isolate: The Canvas Project

A couple months ago, my friend and fellow artist, Theresa (Art by Tre on Facebook) introduced me to The Canvas Project. It was a different kind of art project, where you paid to enter and they sent you 3 words and 3 canvas. You then painted each canvas based on each of the words, sent it back, and the people at Art House Gallery compiled a book and held an art show displaying every canvas. It was a reasonable price of around $32 and has 417 participants. I am one of them.

About two weeks ago I received my 3 canvases (each 4x4 inches) and my three words: Nursery, Hatred and Isolate.

Today I finished the first one, Nursery:

It's definitely simple, but I like it. It will most likely be the most upbeat of the 3 (not surprising with Hatred and Isolate being the other 2 words) and perhaps the easiest to paint. I have painted flowers before. 

I find I am have lots of ideas for isolate but am totally stuck on hatred. Maybe I just don't have a lot of hate in me right now? I generally find it difficult to paint when things are not going terrible, and right now I literally could not be happier (maybe if I won the lottery and never had to work again - but otherwise, couldn't be happier). I've had a great summer so far. Last week my parents went away and I got to play house with my best friends in the whole world and my uber cute and awesome boyfriend - who told me he'd rather just hang out with me like that forever, rather than have my brother come home (YES! I finally got picked over my brother! Huzzah!) Also, upon the return of my parents, I asked if Ryan could sleep over once a week in my room. My dad said yes - if we left the door open! Another score! Larry, you're the best! That just makes me feel young at heart because at I may be 25 and paying rent, but I could not be more excited that I got permission to have my boyfriend sleep over! Yay for sanctioned cuddling time. And then on top of that, I'm kicking ass at work and loving my job and the people I work with, painted my awesome Bob Marley painting, just got a show at The Downtown in Red Bank, my film project is going well, I got recruited to join another project, my friends rule, Lydia is moving to New York, and next week my cousin Melissa is coming to visit. I seriously can not think of "hatred" right now. So, this Nursery painting was just perfect for the moment. Simplistic happiness on a beautiful sunny day.

This is my plea: I ask if anyone has an ideas, let me know. I need them right now. I'm in too good of mood right now. So if life is shitting on you currently, like it clearly was to me up until the past couple months, let me turn your pain and suffering into art. Share the misery with me and inspire me. Then, once I've created something awesome and made your pain into something beautiful, I'll do my best to cheer you up. Because life is awesome. And if you just endure the pain and try to smile as best you can throughout it, it will eventually break and things will be great. 

The Canvas Art Show will be held at the Brooklyn Art Library on December 3rd, 2010. I will be going for sure and would love to have anyone who like to attend with me!

Everything is Irie: Julie tries Rastafarian Art

This past Thursday I went into Jamian's to help celebrate local artist Travis Redcliffe's solo show. He's an incredibly talented artist and an all around awesome dude. He's also the person who set up my March art show at Jamian's. So naturally upon learning about his show, I really wanted to show up and support him in his awesome achievement. 

While there we talked for a while, specifically about the artist I shared my show with, Keith Feldman, and how we both bought a piece of his art. This is the one I bought and makes me extremely happy to look at:

Painting by Keith Feldman

I saw it the first night our of show and knew I wanted it. I tried to resist as I didn't quite have the money for it, but 2 weeks after our show was over it was haunting me, and I need to make it mine. So I did.

After Travis and I gushed about Keith's artwork, he mentioned that in November Jamian's was going to be holding a group art show where past artist's where invited to contribute pieces of artwork based on Bob Marley and the principals and ideals he stood for. Having recently hit a major art block, I liked the idea of having a theme. It was also a theme that was very specific: Rastafarian art. I already had the colors for the background- red, yellow and green. I just needed the rest of it.

So I hit up Google, the best search engine ever. I typed in Bob Marley and after surfing the net I had my idea already. I immediately set up in my room and did the background.

As can be seen to the right, I did the traditional fading colors of green to yellow to red. 

Thus far, I am EXTREMELY pleased with the outcome. Honestly, I could walk away from the painting now and I think I would be happy. But this took me literally 20 minutes to do and what I plan to add to it will only make it more awesome. (I know what you are thinking, how could this possibly get more awesome, right?)

Anyone who is familiar with my art, or anyone who takes 20 seconds to browse my galleries, can tell I like doing black outline and black swirls. My plan for the painting is to do a black outline of Bob Marley's face with a bit of black splattering in the bottom right corner. Then, in the upper left corner painting black swirls, hearts, music notes, and possibly a peace sign. Basically all things that I think uphold the theme of peace, love, happiness, and freedom.

This is proving to be an exciting project. I feel this is an entirely new imagination of any art related to Bob Marley. It's also exciting to have a project that I am excited about. Waiting for this to dry in order to move on is proving torturous.

Luckily I have some kick-ass friends who came over to hang out with me in the pool. Now I am so tired from all the sun, swimming, and diving, that I can just type this up and then take an awesomely satisfying nap and then watch some NCIS.

Tomorrow, I will wake up refreshed and excited about my Monday off from my day job and dive head first into this painting. I think it's going to be awesome. I think it is going to be one of the pieces that, come November, blows the audience away and scores me some moolah. I also hope it is a piece that my peers, Travis and Keith, think is awesome. I love both their artwork and want them to love mine. Or maybe I just want to be as cool as them and have a Bob Marley painting in my repertoire. Either way, I think I'm off to a good start to achieve both. 

(Note: It also adheres to the theme of me only painting awesome things while upset. I had a bit of my first fight with my current boyfriend last night. As a self-proclaimed Cry Baby, I was crying while painting this. Finding humor in my own life and turmoil, I listened "No Woman, No Cry" while painting. Laugh amongst yourself now.)

Quit Playing Games (With My Art)

As you may have heard, I was recently promoted at my day job. I have officially been an Underwriting Assistant for about 2 months now. And might I say, I'm pretty flipping good at my job. It just makes sense to me and I genuinely enjoy doing it. I've become an insurance nerd.

Little did I know, that in the promotion there would be an added bonus I could not have foreseen: I would develop a friendship with one of the coolest people I have ever met, the enigmatic Kyle H. Seriously, he is one of the coolest dudes I've ever met. Together, with the lovely Jennifer Rose, we have formed our little unit of awesomeness. We are the Teen Royalty of Markel. How fetch.

One of the many things I really admire and like about Kyle is that he tries to find the good and the interesting in everyone. And its not like he tries to be-friend strange people out of the novelty of it, he really genuinely cares and knows all about these people. He takes a personal interest in their lives and he impacts everyone he knows in a very positive way, myself included.

The point of bringing him up - aside from the fact that I love to brag about my awesome friends because I think it makes me cooler by association - actually has to do with art and my plan to deal with my feelings of desperation in regards to inspiration.

It all started with this painting:

Weighing the Gold, Watching You Sink 2010

Kyle moonlighted as my “Titler” on this piece. This is a job that is normally held by my brother Ellis, but for this particular piece it was Kyle. 

Now Kyle has AWESOME taste in music and has made me some kick-ass mixed CDs. One of them contained the song “Fools Gold” by The Stone Roses. I this I was subconsciously influenced by this song. I never paint with gold, EVER. Yet one day I felt I HAD to. So I did. The entire time I felt drawn to this song and eventually wanted to name the song “Fools Gold”. That seemed too obvious though, so I instead took lyrics from the song, naming it “Weighing the Gold, Watching You Sink”. The next day at work, I emailed Kyle informing him and sending him a picture of the painting.

Kyle loved it and loved his role as my official painting Titler. He proceeded to forward the picture to a painter friend of his down  and eventually told me to said an email to this individual, one Jared Gaines. I had seen his name pop up in bind requests being routed to the Casualty inbox and was immediately intrigued. Kyle informed me that not only did Jared paint, but he liked zombies too. I was sold. I checked out his artwork (which is awesome and can be seen HERE – my favorite is the wolf on the porch) and emailed him. 

After a couple weeks of emailing back and forth – me recommending he read the Walking Dead comics, him recommending the TV show Adventure Time - Jared made a couple comments about how some of his friends go about their art. He said they just accumulate pieces all year and then do one big show at the end with all of their pieces.

So simple, yet it never occurred to me. I was too wrapped up in the idea that if I wasn’t getting out there I was wasting exposure opportunities. I cannot think of a better approach then that. No more playing games, I'm getting down to business in a totally de-stressed way. I don’t need to worry about having one show one month, selling several of the pieces and then having nothing for the next month's show. That is exactly what happened and made me kind of crazed. Selling a lot of my pieces in March really messed me up.

Plus, I know my friends and family support and love me, but who honestly wants to be going to an art show every other month, looking at the same pieces? It’s my work and I don’t even want to be doing that. 

So I’ve decided for the time being, I’m just going to take it slow. Summer is about partying and I am going to paint when I want to and not stress myself out that I don’t have enough pieces for an upcoming show. I’ll just wait and accumulate another 20 or so pieces and then have a huge show, where people want to attend because it is new art to look at and it isn’t the same event over and over and over again.

And I already know where I want to stock up on art and display – Asbury Lanes. The ambiance is perfect and totally my laid back style. I’m feeling better about all this already. I’m almost done with my Charlie Kelly “Wildcard BITCHES!” painting and bought about 24 new canvases. I’m ready to roll and have a blast this summer partying and relaxing and creating.

Also, totally unrelated to painting, I learned how to open a beer bottle off a ceiling:

 

Dream Enablers

Photograph from Thesis shoot 11/2009Last night Gus and I held our Investor's Dinner at my house. We invited our families (and Megan) over to view our completed short film Wreckage. We wanted them to be able to meet us, talk to us about what it is we had been working on for past year and three months, and then ask them if they wanted to invest in our dream. 

That is what Thesis is. It is our dream. Our dream to make films and be the deciders of our own destiny, to be able to do something creative every day and love every minute of every day. It is something we have been working on for a year and three months now, incorporating all our passions into. Something that we have poured our blood, sweat, and tears into. 

Showing our short was nerve-racking. Wreckage was my muse in January. It was the beast mask made by Paul, Gus, Mike Bruno and Paul's friend Kat that inspired the idea for Mother. I had the emotions and the strife boiling within me, I was just lacking the focus. Wreckage gave me that focus.

Yet I didn't have the emotional or time investment in it that Gus had. Poor Gus. It was not easy for him to show it to Matt, Pat and I. We were harshly critically, but Gus took it well. He took it and Paul and he created an amazing film. One I was proud to have my name attached to and couldn't wait to show to the people who were important to me.

Despite my excitement, as Gus and I stood in the back watching everyone watch it I broke out in a full sweat. It was gross, but I just got so nervous and so scared about what everyone would think that I couldn't control it. What if my family thought I was wasting my time? That we didn't have anything worth while here? What if they hated it?

Luckily, that is not the reaction we received. In fact, the complete opposite. From their words, questions and their investment (we raised 88% of our set goal in one night) it was clear that we were doing the right thing.

The question arises though, how do you repay someone for essentially making your dream possible? Without the contributions of my family members and Gus', making Thesis would be extremely difficult. All the members of the crew have already contributed to the film financially as much as they can, and several of us have pledged to invest more when the time comes, yet that last chunk was going to be difficult to come up with without the aid of others.

Knowing that these people - my Aunt Kathy, Aunt Sue and Aunt Judi, Paul, my Grandma, Matt's parents, Megan, and my Dad - believe in us and are willing to help us in this way, is overwhelming. What they have given us is unbelievable. And the only way we can show our gratitude to them is for us to do it, really do it, to make Thesis, and make it AWESOME. We will achieve the dream that they believe in and that we believe in.  

The pressure's on, and we will definitely rise to the occasion.

Always the Tortured Artist

"Tyrone" 2010I feel like this is more a diary and at times think that is weird, that I am putting my life out on the Internet for anyone to read.  Yet chances are if you are reading this you know me and if you know me, you essentially know everything I write about anyway because I talk about everything that goes on in my life to everyone I know. I am a total open book and I talk a lot.

As anyone who knows me knows, I had an incredibly difficult time getting over my ex Bryan. It’s been a two and a half year epic saga that produced a ridiculous amount of artwork. Seriously, this dude had been my muse since the day a met him.

Yet lately I have acquired a new muse. And this is news to no one, especially Ty, because I told him. He has “muse”ified me twice now.   Yet his musings have been completely different from Bryan’s. Bryan’s were more along the lines of “I’m dead on the inside and am going to die alone because I will never meet any one and he’s destroyed a piece of me forever”.  Not such a happy muse and one I am glad to be rid of.

I’m just going to go out and say it, since I met Ty at my Jamian's art show I have been substantially, exponentially and noticeably happier. Not to give him more credit than is due, but essentially he gave me something to get excited about (even if it didn’t work out so well, darn those ticks!). For a month and a half there I was really excited about dating him and hopeful that I would soon have a new, closer than the Philippines, boyfriend.

Due to life circumstances that isn’t quite what happened. And last week, on Cinco de Mayo, I got upset. As most girls in life do, I build things up and create scenarios that may be an incorrect extrapolation of the dating data that is presented to me.  It also did not help that the Friday before Cinco de Mayo, Ty had hung out with me at the gym and had provided me with many statements that facilitated and perhaps perpetuated that extrapolation. Thus, like the petulant child I can sometimes be when I don't get my way, and due to the 5 Coronas I drank in very quick succession, a massive amount of beer tears ensued. 

Oh and the puffiness. I think this is the worst part about me crying and why I try to avoid it so much. My eyes puff up like you wouldn't believe. Kara and Megan witnessed it. I look like I have been beaten severly. And it happens the next morning, always the next morning, so if I have to do anything involving seeing other people, i.e. work, I have to wake up mad early and ice the shit out of my eyes to make them go down. And they only go down a little. And I look like I'm on drugs. And WORSE, this particular day, I happened to get freezer burn on my cheeks from the ice packs. God help me.

Side note: the beer tears were a combination of the beer, not getting what I want, PMS, and wanting to find someone who treated me like Bryan did when he was in the states, because for all Bryan's faults in the whole ceasing to talk to me when I really needed him, when he was here he treated me like a princess, and I have yet to find another guy that has made me feel that important and special.

Needless to say, Thursday I felt a little weird. I felt embarrassed that I reacted so over the top to something I knew wasn't going to work. And the thing is, in Ty's defense, he pretty much told me that it wasn't going to work right now, but I really didn't want to listen. I want what I want when I want it and I better get it or I'm probably going to cry about it. That's just me. I own it.

 
So I was going through Seis de Mayo with my freeze burned cheeks, when I had to get something updated on my computer. Someone from IT came up and took over my computer. I sat on the side of my desk and reflected. Then I looked over at a picture I had on my desk and instant inspiration. A painting totally emerged in my mind and immediately when I got home, I had to paint. So I did. Pictured above is what it produced.

This thing just flowed too. I was out of work and home by 5:11, set up, painted and was at the gym by 6:07. It just was a purging of hopes and disappointment and confusion. And I love it. It's very reminiscent of Lily Pads, except way bigger and more purple. I felt good getting it out. It was the first thing I had painted that I liked in about a month and half. It was the first thing I had painted since The Doctrine of Manifest Danger, which was also Ty inspired.

And the great thing about it was after I painted it, I ran into Ty at the gym. And we were just fine. We walked on the track a bit together and I told him that he had become one of my muses. It was all good. No weirdness, nothing. Which is awesome, because I do feel fortunate to have met him. He's helped me move on in a way that no one did. And who knows if it was just the timing of meeting him, or specifically him. I don't know.

Then friday night I texted him, asking if he thought it was creepy/weird or awesome if I entitled the painting Tyrone. It seemed only appropriate, but I do prefer to keep my creepiness to a reasonable level. Ty's response "I think awesome if its sweet". Naturally I only paint sweet paintings, so I sent a picture and he concurred saying it was "freakin awesome sweet".

So there you have it. I went on Friday evening to have a wonderful time with awesome friends, glowsticks, hot tubs, bubbles, T-Pain audio tuning and other ridiculous acts and a lot of booze.

 

Then the next day, Ellis and I started working on a painting together. I don't know where that one is going yet, but it feels good to want to paint again. It feels good to feel good again. And I would like to thank my two time muse. 

Who will inspire me next?

Atlantic Artisans Art Show

Last night was my 2nd official art show. It was held at Atlantic Artisans in Atlantic Highlands and was completely different from my Jamian's show. It was in a really cool shop attached to the restaurant Zoe (which apparently has phenominal breakfast). At Atlantic Artisans, they do framing and support local artist and the two women who run it are UBER cool. I had a blast hanging out there.

I was really nervous going in. For Jamian's, well, I already knew how to hang out at a bar. I've had 4 years of practice at that. Plus I had an entourage of people at Jamian's, about 20 people deep that night.

Last night, it was a totally different event and I was flying solo. It was just me, with my art, waiting for people to come up and talk to me. I think I did moderately well but I need to get better at selling myself. It seems the past week I've been in several situations where I feel shy and timid and just out of my element. Time to make those places into my element.

The steps up to the show have all been about me branching out of my bubble too. I got the show through Ty, who I met at my first show and broke many hearts by buying Mother. He works at the Y (where I used to never talk to anyone) and introduced me to another woman who works there named Tony. And Tony's neighbor was Nance, the owner of Atlantic Artisans. Networking, networking, networking. 

Now I talk to lots of people at the Y. Sometimes I forget though, and I walk in with my headphones on and no doubt snub people I say hello to. That's the problem with branching out. 

I digress (this is probably one of my favorite things to say). The show was fun. One woman I met also has a daughter named Julia who likes to draw and she wants to hook me up with Middletown library to talk to kids about art. Maybe that is my next niche, get into painting for kids. I think a lot of my art does speak to kids and I like making kids happy and hopefully encouraging dreams.so that would be a win-win.  

And, if I sell nothing else, I hope to sell this painting:

BAR NONE (A video & a painting)

Doreen Goes On Vacation: A Cautionary Tale from JuliaDennebaum on Vimeo.

On May 14, 2007, I started my very first job at Markel Corporation as a File Associate. It was my first real job ever and I was one of the few 2007 graduates who had a job I started three days before I had officially graduated. I lucked out. I also lucked out in that my co-workers, Kris, Jack and Becca, were awesome. Not too long after I started working there, Becca was promoted and replaced with an equally awesome co-worker Melissa. Together, Kris, Jack, Melissa, and I, under the fearless leadership of our boss Doreen, formed the file room dream team “Bar None”.

Doreen, Our Fearless LeaderEvery day I looked forward to going to work because it really wasn’t work. It was me hanging out with two of my favorite people and completing necessary daily activities with them. It was great. We had so much fun together every day.

For any co-workers reading this, let me just put a disclaimer forth: at this time in the file room, in the pre-scanning era, sometimes there really wasn’t that much to do. Doreen was aware of this and we did a great job, always completing what was required and more, but there was goofing off at times. Okay, disclaimer done, continuing forth.

I made several rubber band balls and we had some rousing games of chair basketball. This consisted of us rolling around on our chairs, chair checking one another, bouncing the rubber band ball, and slam dunking it into the Iron Mountain box which served as our net. It was hella fun.

Kris and the accursed RicohKris, Melissa and I became awesome friends outside of work too. There was a sense of comradery in being one of the over-looked File Associates. There were several times we busted our butts completing projects and doing more work on it then almost anyone else (ahem, when we moved about 150 boxes of files from one building to the other and the vice president sent out an email thanking all the men who helped move computers one day). But we’d get over it, because our boss Doreen knew how hard we worked and that she could depend on us to get the job done with integrity and efficiency. We were “Bar None”. Plus, Jack provided us with fresh fruit and crude comments daily. No one else was so blessed.

One fine August day, it occurred to us that every other department had artwork decorating their respective areas.  Yet ours was completely devoid of anything colorful. This HAD to be corrected. As the resident artist, naturally the task of painting fell to me, but what would it be of? The brainstorming commenced.

We reminisced about the time when we were told to destroy Brittany property policies. We could not believe we actually got to destroy policies. ItOur stud Jack keeping us healthy with fruit was the most exciting thing we had ever heard of. Destroying things? And getting paid for it? We couldn’t wait to start.

That excitement lasted about 5 minutes. After you try and rip mounds of paper in half for any length of time, your hands start to cramp up something awful. And we had thousands of policies to destroy. It was terrible. Thus, Melissa riding a cart down a hill punching a Brittany (BPE) policy.

We joked about the accursed Ricoh copy machine. This thing was pure evil. It jammed all the time. And please let me illustrate that when I say jammed all the time, I mean ALL the time. Literally every document you tried to print or copy would jam, and sometimes it would jam in multiple places and you’d have to open the entire thing up and then you’d clear the jam but it would still be jammed and you were only trying to print ONE page and you just wanted to light the machine on fire and push it off a cliff. Ergo, Kris, our resident black belt, is taking a bat to the Ricoh machine. 

We then wondered what should I being doing? I mean, Jack was easy. He was our buff stud who provided us with fruit every day.

And naturally Doreen was the face our emblem. She was our leader and purveyor of free lunches, overtime, and free vacation days. 

Melissa defeating the Brittany PolicesBut Julie? What funny thing could I be depicted as? As I asked this, Melissa and Kris started teasing me. Logically, they brought up, I would be wearing a dress as I had frequently been caught crawling around on the floor of the shelves filing away drop mail into the claim files. At one point we had tried to put in a supply request to Dolores for knee pads for me. We were denied. They also mentioned that I didn’t get the name Julie “Boy Crazy” Dennebaum for no reason – I had previously brought in a list chronicling all of my crushes by year (which in 2007 was up to like 64 over the course of my 22 years of life). In my short span at Markel I had also had many crushes on many co-workers.

Thus the painting was born.

I started my sketch, and then followed Melissa and Kris to their evening softball game and sketched on the bleachers. Each inning they would come over and check out the progress and we would giggle about how awesome this painting was going to be and how jealous everyone at work would be.

Me, wearing a dress, what I do bestFor this painting I was still working off of Romero Britto’s style. Any one familiar with his work can see the influences heavily throughout the painting. The people, with their triangular faces, as well as the design patterns of the background, are direct re-imaginations of his work.

I went home Friday night after the game and started painting. And I kept painting all weekend, only stopping to eat, use the bathroom, and sleep. Otherwise the entirety of that weekend was spent hunched over the canvas. I wanted it to be completed by Monday so badly. We needed that artwork!

And it was. I brought it Monday morning and mounted it on the wall. Kris, Melissa, Jack and Doreen loved it. Everyone at the company was jealous. It lead to me getting 4 more commissioned artwork jobs: Special Programs: Before the Fall, OnBase 2008, Maitland the Mermaid, and several space themed paintings including Alien Perspective and Star Nebula and a mural, all of which will be getting their own write up soon.

It is bizarre the timing of these things, and maybe half the reason I wanted to write about this painting is that I am retiring from the File Room. I am relinquishing my title of file associate and ending my reign over my file room fiefdom. I had a great time, wonderful memories, lasting friendships and 2 phenomenal films. One of which I will leave you with. It may not make sense to everyone, but it does capture a moment in time of my life that I will only look upon with complete fondness. Now, upstairs I go into my own little cubicle and the world of underwriting assistance!

The completed project

Julie Britto

Hearts Darts by Romero BrittoAs I start with my series of write-ups on my past artwork, it is only appropriate that the first painting I write about is my first official Self Portrait. It makes sense chronologically, but it also lends itself to me paying homage to Romero Britto, who is without question the artist who has most influenced me as an artist.

It all started in my younger days at the good old institution of Rumson-Fair Haven Regional High School. My art teacher Ms. Parmly (who has also been a tremendous influence and turned me on to The Clash, Carol King and Cat Stevens) gave us an assignment where we were to emulate another artist’s style. At first I was completely lost. I had no idea who to use. I didn’t want to do what everyone else was doing with either impressionistic paintings or pointillism. I wanted something different, original, colorful. This is when I stumbled across Romero Britto. He was exactly what I was looking for. It was a match made in heaven.

I went on to complete the project. Looking at it now, all I can say is, holy smokes, I have gotten better at painting. Which I suppose is as it should be, as I painted it seven years ago and it was my first attempt at a Britto. How young and innocent I was back then. And how humorous it is that even from the very beginning of my painting career, the subjects of my paintings were always related to my crushes.

In high school, I had the biggest crush on one of my classmates named Britt Melewski (Britt, Britto, coincidence?). For any of the people reading this now who didn’t know me in high school, this admission is by no means a divulgence. My crushes were always common knowledge - Casey Champion anyone? I actually friended Casey on facebook about a year ago. Ed and I at work thought it would be funny because we both think I creeped him out in grammar school (sorry!). To make matters on that front funnier, he did not accept my friendship and instead let it pend for an entire year. I checked again about a week ago and the friendship was no longer pending. Either after a year of debate and weighing options Casey decided against us being facebook friends, or he never signed on in that time frame and facebook decided it was just really pathetic that it was still hanging out there and deleted it for me.

Anyway, I digress, back to Britto and Britt and why this is not a revelation by any means. Why you ask? Well, Mrs. Brennan beat me to it at the 2003 Senior Christmas concert. At RFH our teachers re-wrote classic Christmas songs making fun of the students and, lucky me, I made a cameo in “The 12 Days of Christmas” on day two. I believe it went something like, “On the 2nd day of Christmas Julie Dennebaum proclaimed with glee, I’m obsessed with Britt Melewski”, and then each time they counted back down it went “Julie wants Britt”, and Britt was sitting directly in front of me. Listen to that here (Thanks Lydia for recording this). Oh good times. Good times indeed.

The point of bringing all that up is that this painting depicts me (I had auburn hair in high school) and Britt holding hands. What a creepy weird-o I was in high school, no wonder I never had any dates. This painting really set the tone for my development going forward. I loved every second working on it. I loved the colors and the black outline. I was hooked on the Romero.

I went on to paint my own copies of his paintings because I wanted to have them decorating my dorm and, oddly enough, while attending Rutgers I did not have 50 grand to drop on an original (not that I have that now either).

My senior year at Rutgers, I decided to branch out from the copying. I had become comfortable enough with the Britto style to try my own creation in his style. I had also, in a fit of hair cutting urgency and poorness decided to cut my own hair. The painting was a good idea. The trying my hand being a coiffeuse was not such a good idea. I had started the side part sometime in college and decided to cut my hair while parted to the side. For anyone who is thinking about doing this, let me tell you this is a BAD IDEA! Always cut your hair on a straight part, otherwise your hair ends up being totally uneven if it is not parted exactly how you cut it. Sometimes I would have the part a little off and there would just be this extremely long strand on one side. It was a funny, failed experiment and one that I reflected in my self portrait. There were also debates about what color my hair was: dirty blonde or light brown? I tried to capture all of this in the painting while trying my very best to capture the spirit of Romero Britto.

My self portrait truly was the start of my experimentation with Britto’s style. It lead to many other paintings in his style and ultimately the birth of my own “pop art” style. Over half of my collection I can trace back to his style, and perchance all of it for the mere fact that he is what got me painting. He is the reason I started using acrylics and branched out from pencil drawings. Strange how he is one person who I will most likely never meet in my lifetime, but he has a profound effect on my life and the person I am today.

Self Portrait by Julia Dennebaum Mona Cat by Romero Britto

Next up on the Romero Britto inspired hit parade: Bar None

Julie + 7d = Crazy Updates

First of all, I love my camera. We've only been together for 4 days now, and I can tell it is a great love, one that will go great places and create great things. It's definitely going to be a task to learn this camera though. Thus far I have been practicing with manually focusing the lens. I'm not that terrible at it. Focusing on people has been easy, but sometimes focusing in on my art has proven more difficult. The details are so small and there are so many different textures, I can't tell if I've focused or not. I'm not sure if this is something practice will help or it's just something my eye is incapable of distinguishing. 

This weekend I easily took at least 400 pictures, mostly of art too. There is something so nice about just being able to take as many photos as I want and not have to worry about annoying the friend who I have recruited to help me. Most of the photos were updating current art photos and finalizing my images for print-making (should I ever figure that part out). 

I also played around taking pictures of various objects and people around my house. This photo, to the left, is currently my favorite picture I've taken thus far. It's my dad and Throck-a-doodle. It was just that perfect moment that I captured and it makes me happy. 

I also took a lot of photos of old artwork from my RFH art class days (Ms. Parmly, holla!). I added a new page for that at RFH Archives. It's weird looking back at that artwork. Now my weapon of choice is the paintbrush, but then it was the pencil. I think I need to get back into using the pencil. I can create things with the pencil that I just can't with the paintbrush. 

Anyway, I plan on trying to do an update each day this week on a lot of my paintings that I re-photographed, sharing the story behind them, as most of them have a story behind them. I also feel several of the commissioned pieces deserve a bit of a spotlight. So please peruse, let me know what you think, and check back later :D

My brand new art toy

Some one slap the credit card out of my hand. Now. 

I just bought myself a Canon EOS 7d for photographing my art. It is beautiful. I love it. I ordered it Tuesday and it arrived today.

 

The rational behind making this purchase is that I need to be an independent person who doesn't have to scramble and rely on other people's availability in order to take print worthy pictures of my artwork. There are too many pieces out there that I just do not have a solid digital image of. The 7d is the plan to correct that. 

Another rational, and I take this from one of my favorite ladies at work, Kathy, is "I neeeeeeeed it" (something her daughter says to her and I think is a very solid and impenetrable arguement for making unnecessary purchases). It was NECESSARY!

Anyway, this camera is BEAUTIFUL. I have only had it for about 5 hours now and I can tell you I don't regret a single penny I spent on it. I've already taken a ton of photos too. You can check those out here: PHOTOS! 

One thing I did not expect though, is this camera is heavy. I'm going to need to develop some major arm muscles just to hold the dang thing. 

The official weekend plan now is to gather all my artwork I have currently and photograph the heck out of them. 

I will at this time, also throw a shout out at Pat Perrotto for help with this camera too. Originally Paul recommended the camera to me back in October. I actually bought it, before it was released (so I guess I should say pre-ordered it), then I met Pat who essentially talked me out of buying the camera saying it wasn't what I should get, only for him to turn around and buy it a couple months later. After Pat came around he helped me with all the specs (cause I am clueless) and also recommended me the lens I bought (24-70MM F/2.8L EF if anyone was curious or if that means anything to anyone) which he also has. Ergo, I feel mad professional having this camera because so does Pat and he's pretty cool. His kit has even been written up by someone out on the internets here. 

That being said, I've wasted too much photo taking time here as it is. Look at me talking when there's photos to be done...

Julie's Path to Enlightenment: Day 1 & 2

This past Thursday I was out at Sonny's Bar & Grill in Belmar to celebrate the wonderful Matthew Siciliano's (of Gaming Chronicles fame) birthday. It was the day after my meltdown about having no inspiration for painting (see previous post) and I was on the prowl for something to insight passion in my soul. How was I to do this? 

In a previous conversation, Pat and I had talked about how I needed to find a different hobby. He offered to take me fishing with him on that beach at like 6 in the morning. This didn't much interest me at first, but as I was tormented by my current slump all day Thursday, I showed up at Sonny's considering asking Pat to take me. How would I know if I liked it if I never tried? So I asked Pat and he said he would. I just needed to get my license. 

As I was consuming my drink of choice (Stoli O and cranberry), I thought that maybe I should try lots of new hobbies to see what I can glean inspiration from. Megan, Pat and I bounced ideas around. I mentioned bike riding but my bike kept breaking. Pat suggested I take up "bike repair", then I could buy a cheap beach cruiser and fix it up myself (and I so desperately want a beach cruiser cause I would just look so darn cute riding it in one of my many dresses). I also spoke to Bill who was just full of wonderful hobbies, specifically my favorite being the burying of  - and documenting of the burying of - random objects in my yard. Thus deciding this, the trying out of different hobbies began yesterday.

First course of action, I got my fishing license. Yup, I am licensed by the NJ Division of Fish & Wildlife to fish effective 04/09/2010 through 12/31/2010. I also have a 2010 Striped Bass Bonus Permit. Holla!

Friday night, everyone seemed to be ill or unavailable so to further my trying new hobbies, I decided to partake in my brother's hobby: drinking forties and watching Cops and 1000 Ways to Die (hilarious show btw). This was a pretty solid evening. I just mellowed out, and saw the truth in everything. I was starting strong on this path to enlightenment.

I woke up this morning feeling cheerful and ready to take on the day. What would I do? What way would I expand my mind? One word: DIRT.

This all started at about 9AM. Good thing I didn't want to sleep in because bright and early a huge truck pulled down my driveway and dumped a heaping pile of top soil to be spread out in our backyard. 

About 4 or 5 years ago I started on a campaign to get a pool. I pestered my dad about it constantly and to my utter shock, he eventually gave in and bought us one. When the pool people put it in, they put it in about 2 feet too high on the lawn, causing us to have the weirdest, most uneven backyard. And today, my dad was going to spend the whole day outside trying to fix their error. I decided to help.

Normally my dad's hobbies of slaving in the yard are pretty awful, yet today it proved very entertaining. It helped that Ellis and I were working together. We were shoveling dirt into a wheelbarrow and then carting it wherever dad - or "the slave driver" as Ellis called him - told us too.

My favorite line of the day was when Ellis and I asked how much longer we had to work (although I'm sure I could have walked away at any point since I totally just walked out and asked to if I could help). Ellis asked, and my dad's reply was "Let's go look at this dirt".

Bemused, Ellis and I followed our dad out front, then stood and started at the pile of dirt. This yielded no results. My dad just walked away. We were getting loopy too at this point because Ellis got some whey protein and started throwing it on the dirt pile and me. I then climbed the dirt pile and started dancing while Ellis sprinkled whey protein around me. Dad walked back and was not amused. Back to shoveling we went.

While I was out working the land, I did gain some inspiration. After I posted my first blog about my painter's block, I got a message from a girl named Steph who went to my high school and played soccer with me. After reading my last post, she had an idea about adding Horton from Dr. Seuss to my paintings Thing 1 and Thing 2, whose names were inspired from Dr. Seuss. I had no desire to touch those two paintings again because of the contempt I currently feel for them, but I loved the idea of doing something from Dr. Seuss. As I was outside it hit me which one... THE LORAX! 

I have always loved the story of The Lorax, just as I have always cared about doing my part for the environment. What could be more perfect? Janna and I have many times talked about doing something with plastic bottles, trying to make them into art because we hate that they are so prevalent in society and are so bad for the environment! This just clicked. Outside, enjoying the beautiful day, getting inspired (and my dad paid me).  

I also made Ellis a tuna fish sandwich.

(I Can't Get No) Inspiration

I need some serious help. I have hit that creative block that I hit after I painted that mural back in the day. I completed 3 paintings I am in love with - Mother, 50 Years of Love, and Candied Island. Now I am just crapping out paintings.

These two I have entitled "Thing 1" and "Thing 2" (a little Dr. Seuss homage there).

I painted these over other canvases I was prepared to throw away. I spent about 15 minutes on each of these. First the background, then the swirls later. I do like them, but this took ZERO thought or inspiration. I just did them because I was bored and didn't want to waste the canvases. They annoy me that I like them. I hate looking at them! Good thing I can mail them to you Christian. I want them gone! Away from me! 

Literally, as I said, crapped out.

I'm kind of okay with this one. Except this canvas was supposed to be for Matt's painting of pokemon. Fudge.

It's entitled "Hopeful, Hopeless", like how I feel about painting right now.

Then there is this one:

Ewwww. I don't even know what to say about this. What was I thinking? This canvas may end up in the garbage.

And last, but not least...

This one caused me to get gold paint in my papercut. That felt awful btdubs.

Conclusion: I don't know about any of these! Would anyone want to buy these? Do I even want to show them to a gallery. Why can't I paint something awesome like "Mother", or "Acquiese to Eternity" again? Or "Remorse of Introspection". I look at those and I wonder if I will ever create another painting as solid as "What is Love?" or "The Wave". 

Why am I spazzing out!!!! I think I'm having anxiety at selling my paintings. What do I show people at galleries? What is happening to my portfolio.

I think I need to not paint for like a good 2 weeks. Just stop. Throw my hands in the air and walk away. The problem is then... what do I do with my time?

God help me. Whatever! Gus just walked in and we are going drinking.

I Should Have Stayed In Bed Today

I am having the spazziest day and I have only been awake for about 3 hours now.

I just got back from canvas shopping and let me tell you, this was a mental ordeal for me, and I can trace this all back to last night about 12 o'clock. 

My back has been bothering me a bit this week. For those of you out there who don't know about my back, well, in a nutshell, it's awful. It all stems from a hereditary degenerative malformation of my spinal vertebrae called spondylosis. It developed into further problems, specifically with my sacroiliac joint (or SI joint). That stupid joint just wouldn't stay in place. It popped out a lot, leading to intense pain that I can only describe as the feeling of being stabbed with a serrated knife in my bone. There was also some sciatic nerve pain that would radiate down the side of both my legs. 

This past December I had a procedure done called radiofrequency nerve ablation. This basically meant they put me under an x-ray, found the nerves that cause me pain, stuck a needle into them re-creating that pain and sending a radiofrequency current to the tissue causing the tissue to heat. The nerve is then temporarily deactivated, as well as the pain signal. Since then the pain has been WAY less painful, which is awesome. This means that I barely need to take pain medication anymore, which is AWESOME. I don't like them at all. It also means that when I am in pain and take the medication, I no longer have any tolerance and it hits me like a ton of bricks.

Digression complete, back to last night at 12 o'clock: I took a flexeril to help ease the pain and get to sleep. These things used to not phase me at all. Instead I took it, fell asleep almost immediately, and woke up 11 and half hours later having barely moved all night. I sleep like the dead and I still felt groggy. I could still feel a little weird but had some errands to run. I wanted to go canvas shopping.

Cut to me driving to A.C. Moore and Michaels (I had lots of coupons). A.C. Moore went just fine. It wasn't till Michaels when the spazziness hit. I knocked over a bunch of canvases on top of myself. Then I bought my canvas only to realize I lost my car keys. I searched all over the store then decided to go check the car thinking I may have left them on the seat and locked them in.

To my delight, the car was not locked. To my horror, I left the keys in the unlocked car in the ignition. 

Trying to look on the bright side, at least I didn't have to wait for anyone to come unlock my car. I opened it up, and then went to put the canvas in my car. It wouldn't fit. I forgot to think anything through. The canvas was 4 foot by 4 foot and no matter how I turned it or maneuvered it, it would not fit. People were watching me struggle in the parking lot as I tried way too long on such a futile thing. Eventually I gave up, went in to return the canvas, bought some others, knocked more things over, and returned home here.

I still feel a little wonky from that stupid pill. And I want to go ride my bike to the gym. Then I'm going to come home and try paint. These are all things I should probably not do whilst feeling "wonky". Oh well. Throw caution to the wind I suppose.