First, I feel weird about cursing on the internet. It doesn't feel right. I don't have a bad mouth, but the title is appropriate for my most recent completed piece of art.
It is entitled "Mother".
This is my first painting completed in 2010, is my darkest piece, and is probably the best representation of how my 2010 actually started. It started with a horrible fight with my mother and my heart being completed smashed by my boyfriend (ex-boyfriend? - the status of our relationship is something I am still unclear on, so if you are reading this Bryan, feel free to let me know).
One Sunday night in early January, I was sitting in Paul's kitchen with Paul and Gus discussing the disturbing short film we were about to embark on filming. They had made a particularly creepy mask with the help of the talented musician Mike Bruno that was black and red. The conversation slowly led to a painting to compliment the mask.
With the emotional turmoil I was currently feeling due to the aforementioned events, I was in a particularly black and red mood and thought I could definitely do something with all the emotions. "Mother" slowly formed in my head.
Gus said he could see it forming in my head as I sat there. I don't doubt it. I had been at Paul's for probably only 30 minutes and at the moment it formed in my head, I stood up and informed them that I had to leave. I had to leave to paint. Paul and Gus understood and I took my leave.
I got home, grabbed the canvas, grabbed a quart of red paint, grabbed a quote of black paint and went to town on the canvas. This was a primal painting, no paint brush, just me, my hands, the canvas and the black and the red. It just poured out of me. My brain shut off and my hands just went.
About 40 minutes later, I had used up an entire quart of red paint, had black paint in my hair and red paint bleeding through my socks (I never dress appropriately while painting).
I took a step back to look at the painting. It was done and the only thing I could say, at seeing what I was feeling transferred to canvas was "Wow, I'm fucked up".
It was then named by the crew of Wreakage (Pat, Matt, Gus and Paul). I couldn't name it Bryan, already have one of those. I was going to name it "Self Portrait" but Matt pretty much told me that was the worst title ever. Then Pat chimed in that it had to be "Mother". And so it was named, and then very well lit and prominent in many shots of the ensuing short film.